December 15th, 2005
Julie and I had our first counseling session this morning.
As we were wrapping up, the counselor said that within five minutes she'd seen a number of resemblances between Julie and Jane. "Stubborn, fixed, and feminist," as I described it to myself the summer of 04, when Julie and I fell in love.
The counselor also thinks it's not really up to Julie and Jane to work things out, or for me and Julie to work things out, but for me to step up (as she said) and make the hard decisions necessary.
I'm going to see her (the counselor) again Monday.
Funny that phrase "step up"; that's exactly what my friend the cognitive therapist used in a very similar situation.
|Date:||December 15th, 2005 11:56 pm (UTC)|| |
As in "step up to the plate" I guess. Thanks.
I guess I don't quite understand. Is the counselor saying that you have to choose between Julie and Jane?
I think it's more like figure out what I want, and begin to express it to Jane and Julie. This might involve making an either/or choice, which I feel fairly pessimistic about. But who knows how things will go. I sure don't.
Ah, okay, now I see. Well, knowing what you want is good, even if it leads to difficult choices. I hope you'll keep us posted on the process.
Yes, make the decisions and as soon as possible. My marriage foundered in an identical situation, and because the decisions were not made I have scars I won't be able to get rid of for years or more.
Thank you for your directness. This comment means a lot to me.