December 29th, 2005
In the year 2006 I resolve to:
Take over the world.
Get fired from my current job.1
Bang the guy who lives next door.2
Not eat cloned meat.3
Getting myself admitted to a mental institution.4
Learn to play the guitar with my teeth.5
Find big foot.6
Get your resolution here
1 That'd be a neat trick.
3 Identical twins are safe from me, then.
4 This was actually the last one I got. I decided to stop here because it had a grammatical error.
5 There is no fifth footnote.
6 This was the first one I got. I was expecting a serious resolution, because the one I saw before (anghara's) said "Spend more time at work."
See, I don't make resolutions, I make plans. The difference is that the latter sounds more high falutin' and goal oriented, and
if when you mess them up, well, you just adapt and change. Whereas, if when you mess up resolutions, my god, you're a failure! (In either case, really, the joke is on me.)
I remember telling someone a few years ago that my resolutions were to eat more, exercise less, fuck around, and get at least one hangover a week. He actually stopped to think about it for a second, and then said "Oh! Reverse psychology!" So I got to string him along for a minute or so that no, these were my realio trulio serious resolutions.
But realio trulio: Yes, I want to be more active. Walking, whatever. More photography! I did a good job of pushing it in 2005, where can I take it in 2006? Regular work on the house. Work on my office, too. Etc.